Ugh! I am effin' tired of being fat! Yes i know i am not the only one who feels that way!

I know what fat is. I know how it develops within the within the honeycomb netting that holds my legs together beneath my skin. I know precisely what junk i put in my mouth has a fast track pass to get converted into fat. Nonetheless, i eat that shit anyways. Then, i get depressed because i ate that shit; so i eat some more of some other shit. And the cycle continues. I know that i need to lose weight because of my health, and that as a result of improved health, i will look and feel better. But I can't. My fat just means so much more to me than that. And no, dont get me wrong, i am not fond of it by any means. If i could somehow fashion some cement boots for my fat, it would definately would go on a one way trip off the Golden Gate Bridge. All of my other problems stem from my fat. At least to me they do. I know that this is not realistic, but that is how it feels. Losing weight is No. 1 on my list of things that i need to change/improve/control; and until i get No. 1 out of the list, i cant get to the rest of my list. Shut up and do something about it says You? Well, i am. There is no plan. No diet. No method. In fact, i am starting my lifestyle change exactly the opposite of how nutrition experts say you shouldnt. BINGE! Yup, i have eaten today to my heart's content. And yes, my little content heart feels like it is going to pop out of my throat to make room for all of the tasty bites i had today. Regret. At least my body feels it, but not mentally, at least right now (a sentiment insured by a crisp chill Heineken). It started with today, and tomorrow we will see what happens. I have years of experience in various dieting techniques and methodologies which all have one thing in common: habit. So here we go, lets go get into some new habits. Then once i get No.1 off my list, i can finally take care of all the other depressing shit that is wrong with me. Who knows, No. 1 may turn out to be the only one on the list. Wish me luck!

Oh and here is a spankin' great heap of good Karma toward my big sis who is on a weight loss journey of her own. Albeit i am super effin jealous because she didnt gain as much weight as i did after having lil kiddos, AND she is doing a really good job at closing the cottage cheese factory. To my sis! I wish your ass looks just like Sofia Vergara's.
Love,

Kayos!