Something about habits...

Whoa 240 Lbs.! That's a lot. The most i have ever weighed without being pregnant, and man do i feel it. Everything hurts! I feel like i am twenty years older and that SUCKS! Nevertheless, i refuse to diet! Dr. Oz says that your body wants to self regulate. So about habits: it is my habits that have gotten me into this situation. You all know what kind of habits can get you in this condition, so i am not going to list them. So, instead of eliminating my current habits the way of a square peg in a round hole, i am going to evict them by way of adopting new habits. No dieting here people!

Habit No. 1
Start smoking! Just kidding! Asthmatic, cant even be around smoke. I read that there are numerous benefits to drinking a daily 8 oz cup of coffee, limiting the sugar and creamer of course. So, a cup of coffee in the morning it is! Besides it sure helps kickstart my ass in the morning.

Habit No. 2
Chew gum like a New Jersey Stripper. Yes, it will make me fart up a storm, but my breath will be minty fresh and it will keep my mouth busy and my sweet tooth satisfied.

Habit No. 3
Drink a crapload of water. nuf said.

Habit No. 4
Go to sleep early. Well, easier said than done since my lil munchkins have iron-clad will to stay up late. Any tips on boring my toddlers to sleep?

Habit No. 5
Drink a glass of red wine every night. Just like coffee, a little red wine has numerous health benefits, plus, it makes me feel gooooooood! Woo Hoo! Goodbye Obesity! Alcoholism Here I Come and I am Thirsty!

Enough habits for now. Hit me up if you have any other good ones to take on (easy please, i am 1/260th goldfish and i cant remember complicated things)