Something about habits...

Whoa 240 Lbs.! That's a lot. The most i have ever weighed without being pregnant, and man do i feel it. Everything hurts! I feel like i am twenty years older and that SUCKS! Nevertheless, i refuse to diet! Dr. Oz says that your body wants to self regulate. So about habits: it is my habits that have gotten me into this situation. You all know what kind of habits can get you in this condition, so i am not going to list them. So, instead of eliminating my current habits the way of a square peg in a round hole, i am going to evict them by way of adopting new habits. No dieting here people!

Habit No. 1
Start smoking! Just kidding! Asthmatic, cant even be around smoke. I read that there are numerous benefits to drinking a daily 8 oz cup of coffee, limiting the sugar and creamer of course. So, a cup of coffee in the morning it is! Besides it sure helps kickstart my ass in the morning.

Habit No. 2
Chew gum like a New Jersey Stripper. Yes, it will make me fart up a storm, but my breath will be minty fresh and it will keep my mouth busy and my sweet tooth satisfied.

Habit No. 3
Drink a crapload of water. nuf said.

Habit No. 4
Go to sleep early. Well, easier said than done since my lil munchkins have iron-clad will to stay up late. Any tips on boring my toddlers to sleep?

Habit No. 5
Drink a glass of red wine every night. Just like coffee, a little red wine has numerous health benefits, plus, it makes me feel gooooooood! Woo Hoo! Goodbye Obesity! Alcoholism Here I Come and I am Thirsty!

Enough habits for now. Hit me up if you have any other good ones to take on (easy please, i am 1/260th goldfish and i cant remember complicated things)

Ugh! I am effin' tired of being fat! Yes i know i am not the only one who feels that way!

I know what fat is. I know how it develops within the within the honeycomb netting that holds my legs together beneath my skin. I know precisely what junk i put in my mouth has a fast track pass to get converted into fat. Nonetheless, i eat that shit anyways. Then, i get depressed because i ate that shit; so i eat some more of some other shit. And the cycle continues. I know that i need to lose weight because of my health, and that as a result of improved health, i will look and feel better. But I can't. My fat just means so much more to me than that. And no, dont get me wrong, i am not fond of it by any means. If i could somehow fashion some cement boots for my fat, it would definately would go on a one way trip off the Golden Gate Bridge. All of my other problems stem from my fat. At least to me they do. I know that this is not realistic, but that is how it feels. Losing weight is No. 1 on my list of things that i need to change/improve/control; and until i get No. 1 out of the list, i cant get to the rest of my list. Shut up and do something about it says You? Well, i am. There is no plan. No diet. No method. In fact, i am starting my lifestyle change exactly the opposite of how nutrition experts say you shouldnt. BINGE! Yup, i have eaten today to my heart's content. And yes, my little content heart feels like it is going to pop out of my throat to make room for all of the tasty bites i had today. Regret. At least my body feels it, but not mentally, at least right now (a sentiment insured by a crisp chill Heineken). It started with today, and tomorrow we will see what happens. I have years of experience in various dieting techniques and methodologies which all have one thing in common: habit. So here we go, lets go get into some new habits. Then once i get No.1 off my list, i can finally take care of all the other depressing shit that is wrong with me. Who knows, No. 1 may turn out to be the only one on the list. Wish me luck!

Oh and here is a spankin' great heap of good Karma toward my big sis who is on a weight loss journey of her own. Albeit i am super effin jealous because she didnt gain as much weight as i did after having lil kiddos, AND she is doing a really good job at closing the cottage cheese factory. To my sis! I wish your ass looks just like Sofia Vergara's.
Love,

Kayos!