Pre-vacation Chaos Buildup!

Yay! My first real vacation ever next week! Cruise to Baja, here I come! That is if Murphy's Law doesn't tackle the shit out of me in the next few days. Murphy, you son of a bitch, I see you and your stupid law coming! You ain't gonna get me!!!!!! So in regular fashion, I am falling apart as usual and it is all my procrastinating ass's fault.
Aldous Huxley said “There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.” Well Mr. Huxley, that is also the same corner we can all be certain of utterly fucking up. 
Case and point: I will do the dishes tomorrow, I will do that report later, I will exercise tomorrow, I will start my diet again tomorrow... And when later comes what do you have? Nasty moldy dishes, a pissed off boss, a jiggly ass, and the Michelin Man staring back at you in disgust when you look in the mirror. 
Why do we do this to ourselves? I certainly cannot answer why I have procrastinated the hell out of everything right before a badly needed vacation. If I have accomplished one thing, it is definitely to increase the stress out of all the loose ends I am leaving behind and proportionately decrease the amount of pleasure I will experience. So should I just fast forward to the end and shoot my foot now? NO! The key here is realizing, that while dear Mr. Huxley is right, we also have the option of brushing it all off and just keep on truckin'. Well not everything everything, but the things that we know that we will regret worrying about later. 

Remember, we are all trying to find a happy middle (except for all those damn over-achievers who have to excel at every damn little thing...Yes! I mean you little sis! I love you but I hate your skinny rich guts!). I am not going to stress about how clean my house is, my hubby is going to do the dishes, my boss can get pissed at me for whatever tasks I don't complete and can tell me about it when i come back, I will make a little effort to get off my ass and eat right these days before my vacay (but not that much), but come that day... exercise? diet? Y eso que chingao es?!? Super Buffet, here I come! And I am not going to regret it one bit. Some things in life are meant to be thoroughly enjoyed! 

Plan your little vacation and enjoy the reckless abandonment we should all indulge in precious few moments like these! Besides, if you have been large and in charge most of your life like yours truly, you have also been thoroughly stressed out and depressed, too. We deserve it.

Wish me luck with the chips on my shoulders i gotta take care of before i leave (man! I really feel like some chips right now, Queso Ruffles anyone?)

Oh, and here is a shout-out to my big sis: Thanks for convincing me to go, YOU FUCKING ROCK!!!!

Long time - No See

Ay ya it has been a long time since my last post. Well, getting back to behaviors. My little experiment didn't work for long. I began eating an orange, an apple, and a banana every day for breakfast. It was easy at first, but after a few weeks, these items became as appetizing as shoving down a bowl of sponges.

The upside? Well, i did lose weight, and i felt better in several aspects of my life. I felt more agile, with more energy, and most important of all, i felt proud of myself for sticking to this routine. Ah but all good things must come to an end, and this, unfortunately met its end quite soon.

There is always a lesson to be learned, and i have learned from this experiment that i need variety within the meal not only in one meal a day. My new tactic: instead of just eating a whole meal of only fruit, i will eat one fruit per meal. But until that starts, a few slices of Pizza! Yay!
Yes, I know... It is super bad to say that a whole day is ruined because of one misstep. And i had quite a few missteps to day to justify eating a whole pie!

No, i am not going to eat a whole pie, but, considering how bad this week has been, i sure deserve it.  Which brings me to my next point.

Obesity is not a problem, it is a symptom of a problem. Well it is a problem to those of us who are carrying all that extra baggage, but we have huge asses because we are not taking care of other, bigger problems (yes even bigger than our asses) in our lives. My taco truck sized junk is just the end product of other problems that i am just not dealing with. So here returns why i am eating a crap-load of pizza today. I have started to see a psychiatrist to help me correct the behaviors that have lead me down the path to size 18. I have also started talking to a weight management behaviorist to coach me along the way. Lastly, i have lowered my expectations. I am always going to fail if my expectations are too high, so i am always going to get disappointed because i failed, so i am always going to drown my disappointment with a pint of chocolate brownie ice cream. You see the cycle? Really?! Do i even need to explain this, if you are reading this your squishy ass is probably sitting right next to mine in the same damn cycle.

So, after all this rambling, i come to my point. It is okay to seek help. Sometimes it takes someone on the outside of the fish bowl to help us see the truth. There is one caveat, though, you have to be ready for them to tell you that your bowl water smells like shit (but they will help you figure out how to clean it).
So in an effort to clean my fishbowl i have a new, and realistic goal: get below 200 lbs by my 30th birthday, so in numbers that breaks down to roughly 3 lbs a week. Come to think of it, its not as realistic as i would like it (yes, being lazy is coming in to play here) but here I go.
Good luck to you, and wish me luck!